tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58001213411625082042024-03-12T21:34:03.900-07:00ramblings from a ragamuffinmindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.comBlogger78125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-3603437275252300662014-08-05T07:34:00.001-07:002014-08-05T07:39:02.211-07:00Did I Miss The Right Exit? I can't even begin to explain how long I've been neglecting writing this post. It's probably a month overdue, and I've done just about everything to distract myself from spending time in front of a screen processing what life looks like right now. I just reread <a href="http://mindijoslone.blogspot.com/2014/06/whatever-comes-my-way.html" target="_blank">my takeaways from the last twelve months</a>, and I noticed a lot of those things had to do with how God wanted to use me in the lives of others and how I can learn from that kind of obedience. <br />
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What I didn't expect is that my world would get smaller, and that the next six weeks would be about how He would use unusual silence to speak about where my level of trust is when it comes to His view of my life. <br />
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As a teacher, the past 10+ years of my life have been about planning. It's what I do well... plan the next lesson, the next unit, the next semester. I know what I need, how I'm going to get it, and what I expect the outcome to show me. I never looked it as a liability. I never looked it as something God would need to take away from me to teach me a lesson. It was more of an asset, a benefit to my life.<br />
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Let me back up... at the end of the school year in mid-June, I felt like God had called me out of my position as Campus Administrator at The Crossing. I believe in what The Crossing does for students. But as a mother of three, it was a difficult challenge to be an administrator and live the life of full-time ministry. I've struggled with this all summer. How could I be called out of something that I was so clearly called to just a year before? How could I validate leaving a fantastic public school job to then leave the perfect mix of education/ministry only a year later? What am I missing? Was it the wrong move to begin with? Was this an example of God dreaming bigger, and He was going to move me into a position somewhere else that I couldn't even dream for myself... but He knew <a href="http://mindijoslone.blogspot.com/2014/01/when-it-is-actually-about-you.html" target="_blank">The Crossing was going to be a bit of fire I needed to go through to be refined</a>?<br />
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I've always said that if given the chance, I'd want to be a stay-at-home mom. I never thought it was my calling, but I thought it would be fun... be a homemaker. Make my home something my husband and kids could be proud of. Be the mom that was able to go on field trips. Make my home perfect for holidays, reading magazines for the latest ways to decorate on a budget. However, for our family, we have always been a two-income family - and we've made financial decisions based on that. We've went through moments of what I thought was financial strain, but it never radically changed our lifestyle. If I wanted a latte, I got one. If I "needed" a new pair of jeans, I got them. If the girls wanted spare change for a stupid vending machine toy, they usually got their two quarters.<br />
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After leaving The Crossing in June, I've applied and interviewed at different area schools. I actually thought that perhaps this was God giving me an opportunity to finally teach in my kids' district - a dream I was always afraid to speak because it felt so impossible. All these applications and interviews have done is whittle away at my ego and pride. Rejection or no response. It's left me incredibly confused, and if I'm honest, a bit bitter. I had an opportunity to return to The Crossing, but the timing with my childcare since school starts early required me to say no. <br />
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So here I am, mother of three with 10 years of teaching experience. That kind of experience makes it difficult to find work in education. And like I said, we've created a reality the required two incomes. It's difficult to think of working part-time, when the income would go straight to cover B's daycare. Is it worth working to only really bring home $40 a week? So where does this leave me?<br />
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It leaves me truly living One. Day. At. A. Time. I would be lying if I said I enjoyed it. But I will say it has brought the strangest amount of joy for our family. There are no pointless trips to Target because my heart feels restless. There is no arguing about "where" we are eating because I'm learning the art of meal planning 7,000 meals a week at home (at least it feels that way.) It is hard to say no to ice cream or trips to the root beer stand and beach during the summer, but I can tell you that we are closer as a family. We have spent countless hours on the porch talking and playing dutch blitz. On paper, we won't make it on only one income. On paper, this looks foolish and feels foolish. But for some reason, it is where God is asking me (and us) to walk through right now. For a few weeks this summer I carried anxiety about how the house will get paid, how we'd buy $30 of formula every five days. But what I noticed, was it was stealing my joy. I wasn't able to be present and just enjoy each moment as a stay-at-home mom. And since discovering that, this summer has moved as lazy and slow as I have always wished it would.<br />
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My eyes are still open. I'm still searching and pursuing teaching positions. I'm still fighting bitterness in areas of my life that aren't pretty...things that have come up since being put in this position. But through some tough conversations I've had with God, I know He can handle the bitterness. He wants to hear it. He doesn't want it to create a vast chasm between Him and me. He wants to hear it so that he can whisper back, "But do you really, really trust Me? Do you really believe I have in mind what is best for you? Do you really understand that what I dream for you is better and more fulfilling? Do you believe the miracle of the widow and her last jar of oil (2 Kings 4)?<br />
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So I'm listening to this song on repeat lately. I cry every time...because it really is the cry of my heart. Fear and worry so often get in the way. Fear that I've "missed it." Fear that I'm not doing enough to find "it." Worry that.... well, it doesn't matter. <br />
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If you find yourself understanding me at all, please take a moment and listen to this (below) song. It's an older song by Ginny Owens. Her story is a story of God's provision. Her dream was to be a high school choir teacher. But she is blind. And they wouldn't hire her. God's dream was bigger... she became a recording artist sharing her testimony and God's amazing provision. I trust this same God will provide for me. It will look different. But I'm looking because I don't want to miss it. This post feels so disheveled. So confused. So unorganized. But no matter how I try, I can't make more sense out of it, nor can I get it any more concise. It's just a reflection of all the chaos inside that I'm trying to make sense of. As the song says, this may not be the way I would have chosen... but I'm gonna trust You.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 29px;"><span style="color: #999999;">"If You Want Me To" Ginny Owens</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 29px;"><span style="color: #999999;">The pathway is broken and the signs are unclear</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 29px;"><span style="color: #999999;">And I don't know the reasons why you brought me here.</span></span></span></div>
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But just because you love me the way that You do</div>
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I'm gonna walk through the valley if you want me to.</div>
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Cause I'm not who I was when I took my first step</div>
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And I'm clinging to the promise You’re not through with me yet.</div>
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So if all of these trials that bring me closer to You</div>
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Then I will go through the fire if you want me to.</div>
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And it may not be the way I would've chosen</div>
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When you lead me through a world that's not my home</div>
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But you never said it would be easy</div>
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You only said I'd never go alone.</div>
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So when the whole world turns against me</div>
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And I'm all by myself</div>
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And I can't hear you answer my cries for help</div>
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<span style="color: #999999;">I'll remember the suffering that your love put you through</span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="text-align: left;">And I will go through the valley if you want me to.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">When I cross over Jordan, I'm gonna sing, gonna shout</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;" /><span style="line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">I'm gonna look into Your eyes and see, You never let me down</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;" /><span style="line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">So take me on the pathway that will lead me home to You</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;" /><span style="line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">And I will walk through the valley if You want me to</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;" /><span style="line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">Yes, I will walk through the valley if You want me to</span></span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0b5394; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span style="font-family: proxnov-reg, arial, sans-serif;"> </span></span></div>
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mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-53065517316234803502014-06-08T12:53:00.000-07:002014-06-10T17:43:51.590-07:00Whatever Comes My Way<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The last twelve months have been fairly significant for many reasons. I really want to take a moment and build a small memorial of what I've learned. I don't want to look back at these 12 months and not place metaphorical stones down to mark what all I've learned and how I've seen God's faithfulness. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While I'm sure there are many more, here are a few:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. Even when I don't <i>want</i> to prove faithful and I sometimes kick and scream, God still is present and ever-faithful. (2 Timothy 2:13)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. When we allow ourselves to be present with those that need Him, we are reminded of our continued need as well. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. Being His hands and feet requires me to be in constant communion with Him. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4. If you are not part of the One True Vine, you will wither. (John 15:1-7)</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgaZn8uj3El-E4Kb-l8FN28kJaw6RIosfO7IChopg1AwmPkcYuOlhAqVAusWy1uGsQrcRGWtUT1r7toLwISC8aFOJpHl5H50kJuDWKe7f4amPi60tS725xq-0L33xlnWoYm7o_zss_cHBs/s1600/1554586_10152173404936270_6257560601562912515_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgaZn8uj3El-E4Kb-l8FN28kJaw6RIosfO7IChopg1AwmPkcYuOlhAqVAusWy1uGsQrcRGWtUT1r7toLwISC8aFOJpHl5H50kJuDWKe7f4amPi60tS725xq-0L33xlnWoYm7o_zss_cHBs/s1600/1554586_10152173404936270_6257560601562912515_n.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5. No matter what we have experienced or what we haven't experienced, God can use us in the lives of others. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">6. God doesn't need our excuses, He just needs us to show up. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">7. Sometimes living requires God to slay our flesh completely. Sometimes that has to happen daily. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">8. When we don't have the words to pray, He hears them in our tears.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9. Ministry often is about my own discipleship rather than me discipling others. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">10. God doesn't intend for us to always know what will happen in the next month, 6 months, or even years. He DOES intend for us to trust Him that it will be either better than where we were and/or for our betterment. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">11. Sometimes the greatest thing we can offer someone is forgiveness daily. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">12. Agape love looks much different than what I originally thought. For me, agape love is choosing to love and see hope through hateful words and actions. This love can only be demonstrated when the Holy Spirit saturates my heart. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">13. Sometimes God will pull you out of your comfort into something crazy-radical because He knows otherwise... we would never move on our own. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">14. Walking in His path for us is always accompanied with peace. It doesn't mean that it won't be difficult, but it means that as long as we keep our eyes looking up, He will bring peace when you least expect it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">15. Choosing to sing "Hallelujah" is not easy. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">16. Having a spouse that has an eternal perspective in God's plan for your life and your families future is invaluable. Celebrate it when you find it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">17. We never "arrive" when it comes to trusting God. Just when I thought I had it figured out, He asked me to trust Him more. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">18. People that seem on the surface so opposite of who we think we are - are actually there to hold a mirror up to our soul. Warning: You probably won't like what you see in yourself. Good news: It's never too late to ask for forgiveness and seek more of Him in those dark places we often hide.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ86CEV4mErvI5Wlu4ykxBhZfdDM01Tey5N6YvOSCvpx_M2BoZ31B7I36Zq1j4O2LVzSWwFnOlGWY6k6N1diW8vzbmPrfQRKUX3WkhxClSMJYJJkKlvB27PjYZG5X1SaUASkipu-gYsllO/s1600/10411314_10152185191666270_8251080755335387300_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ86CEV4mErvI5Wlu4ykxBhZfdDM01Tey5N6YvOSCvpx_M2BoZ31B7I36Zq1j4O2LVzSWwFnOlGWY6k6N1diW8vzbmPrfQRKUX3WkhxClSMJYJJkKlvB27PjYZG5X1SaUASkipu-gYsllO/s1600/10411314_10152185191666270_8251080755335387300_n.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">19. Pride can show itself in the strangest of places. Be on alert. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">20. When you sing the words, "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders/let me walk upon the waters/wherever you may call me/Take me deeper than my feet will ever wonder/And my faith will be made stronger/in the presence of my Savior" don't forget the words, "Where my feet may fail and fear surrounds me/You've never failed and You won't start now." They go together. And when you asked the Spirit to lead to those places, He will. Be ready. They aren't words to be uttered lightheartedly.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I will leave you with this song. The words are so powerful. I'm singing them just as loudly as I sang, "Oceans." See, my private worship sessions are some of my most intimate times of prayer. This song will be a marker for the next year. </span><br />
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<b style="text-align: center;">What has the last 12 months taught you? </b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"In your everlasting arms/All the pieces of my life</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">From beginning to the end/I can trust You.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In Your never failing love/You work everything for good,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">God whatever comes my way/I will trust you."</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">God, whatever comes my way, I will trust you.</span></i></div>
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<br />mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-61178301871300528692014-05-08T07:25:00.000-07:002014-05-08T07:25:00.977-07:00Reflections<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The last six weeks have felt like a blur. </div>
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Mr. Bennett Atticus Ray Slone was born on March 25, 2014, and it never ceases to amaze me how God uses others, including newborns, to teach me about His faithfulness in my life and His desire to provide for me even in the moments of doubt. </div>
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The last six weeks have been a gift of time that I've been able to cherish. With Savannah and Joey in school, I've had the entire day alone with Mr. B. It's been so calming and healing to love all over him all day long. </div>
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Within the last few weeks, he developed a rash. It started to look like baby eczema, and that meant he was having a reaction to something. We changed detergents, soaps, etc. but there was no change. My Dr. suggested it could possibly be a milk allergy. Since stopping nursing (which has been so emotionally difficult for me) and putting him on a soy-based formula, we've seen significant difference. I know - I could have began the process of eliminating all dairy from my diet, but I know myself... I'm not that disciplined. And I wanted to see results now for his precious little face. I didn't want scabs and infection to take over as I tried to solve it one meal at a time. I'll spare you the details about the difficulty I've always had in nursing, and yet the great pride I take once we find our rhythm. Maybe that's the thing... my pride. The older I get, the more I see it. Motherhood (and parenthood in general) strips me often of my pride and my desires. And that isn't a bad thing in this case. </div>
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This Sunday is our church's baby dedication. This morning in searching Scripture for reminders of God's provisions (I got three of probably many hospital bills today... eeegats!), I ended up in 1 Samuel and reading about Hannah and Samuel. I've heard the story before, but today it was a great reminder of what Adam and I are getting set to do on Sunday. </div>
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Baby dedication is so much more than standing in front of people and making a light-hearted commitment. These beautiful children God has blessed us with truly are 'on loan,' and I truly believe God is wanting us to be good stewards of these gifts as much as we are to be faithful stewards of our finances and spiritual gifts. </div>
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While I didn't spend many years praying for a son like Hannah, I do want to say, "So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord." (1 Samuel 1:28)</div>
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This beautiful baby boy is a gift. Bennett means "blessed." He has blessed us, his life is blessed, and my prayer is that God uses him to bless others. Mr. B has already taught me so much about myself. Our children, if we take a moment and notice, are a reflection of who we are and how we interact with them, our spouses, and the world around us. I forever want that reflection to look more like Jesus than it looks like me. </div>
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mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-9181521733022939582014-01-21T16:56:00.001-08:002014-01-21T16:56:41.727-08:00When It IS Actually About You<!--?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8" standalone="no"?-->
<span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Perhaps no one has noticed, but I've been on a blogging hiatus. I've never been consistent to begin with, and I often have months go by before I post. I'm not even sure this would constitute me as a blogger. But one thing I do know is that for me to post, it has to be something I've processed through. I don't necessarily have to have come through the other side, but I definitely don't want to blog without a glimmer of hope. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Had I blogged through August - December, you would have really struggled to find any glimpse of hope in what I had to say.
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My calling to my new position at The Crossing has not changed. God's call still stands. I'm still being obedient. And I will continue to be. However, in the meantime, what I thought was going to be about how God's work in my life would influence those around me, it has become about how God was no where near ready to use me. Instead, he was ready to break me and ruin me, so that He could build me back up to be glorified in my suffering. Thing is… my suffering didn't look very glorious to Him, I'm afraid.
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Please don't get me wrong, I didn't suffer as some would define suffering. I suffered by my emotional life being placed on the altar daily, often against my own will. God's calling did not look like I thought it <i>should</i> look. It didn't feel like I thought it <i>should</i> feel. I missed my friends. I missed my stability. I missed routine. I missed students liking me. I struggled with bitterness that the call wasn't easier. In my mind, I thought I had been prepared for battle against the enemy. But I never thought that I was actually my own worst enemy. (If you notice, those previous statements had a lot of 'I' at the heart of them.)
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Two of the foundational elements of my day at The Crossing are Heart Check and Family TIme. Heart check is exactly as it sounds. It is a time to gather as a staff in the morning before school starts and "check our heart" against God's calling, the vision He has placed before us, and His word. Family Time is an intentional half-hour every session that we spend talking to students about life and the beauty of the Gospel. It always involves a challenge and Scripture to support that challenge. So many times Family Time has been for me just as much as it is intended for students. The thing is - I have been exposed to my Scripture and more Jesus on a daily basis since coming to The Crossing than I have ever been. It's amazing when those things become intentional, how effective they can be.
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hebrews 4:12-13 says, "For the word of God is living and active - Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account."
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">These verses have taken on new meaning. To me, these verses have always been about someone else. My soul and spirit aren't divided. I love Jesus. I teach my kids about Jesus. We pray together as a family. I spend time alone with God. I mentor people. This verse isn't for me.
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">uh. wrong.
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Just when I think I've got it "figured out" and am ready to be used, God speaks differently. His word was like a beacon shining on my divided soul and spirit. With lip-service I was wanting to serve Him in a new form of ministry, but in my heart, I had no idea what that meant. How hard can it be to teach and love students on a personal level? Let me tell you- It's a lot harder than you think.
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In a class of 30 students where they are expected to sit and listen and work for the majority of 70 minutes, it is easy to care at a distance. Where I am now, where I am one of three teachers in a room of 17 students, it's a lot harder. You can't distance yourself from what you know God's telling you to do. You can't ignore His call of obedience without it being a resounding bell in your ear. But let me tell you, truly engaging in and serving students and being obedient by speaking truth and God's love to them is not easy. There is no distance. And sometimes, just like in my own life, they don't want to hear what I have to say… no matter how directed out of love it is. (Man… I am the same way.)
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, all of this exposed a lot of truth about myself that I began to run from and even become bitter about. Bitter at God (Can I say that? I think I can, because He and I have had some pretty serious conversations lately). And bitter that I thought I was "better" than what I am. Please don't misunderstand that last statement. What I mean is that I thought I was further along in my journey with Christ, and while I may be, I'm not where He wants me. And while I knew that, I didn't realize how far He wanted to bring me in a short time.
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He and His word have uncovered and "laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account." I had to give account for a prideful heart. I had to give account for a jealous spirit. I had to give account for a bitter attitude. I had to give account for lacking patience, gentleness and most definitely LONG SUFFERING. <b> I began to see that this calling to serve at The Crossing had very little to do with what God wanted to do <i>through</i> me in the lives of the students. Instead, the last 6 months have been about what He wanted to do <i>through the lives of the students </i>and His word in me.</b> Whether they know it or not, they<i>,</i> through His help, exposed some areas of my life that I wasn't prepared to face. God was asking that in my "affliction" I still bear fruit. It is hard to bear fruit when you allow the affliction to grow a root of bitterness. Nothing grows out of that root.
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As I look back at last year, my word is "change." So much has changed. New job. Miscarriage. Pregnancy. Joey's in kindergarten. Adam's new position at work. Nothing feels the same. And I somehow lumped God into that change.
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One of my favorite verses, and I have referenced this before, is 2 Timothy 2:13. "If we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself."
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He's faithful. He did not change. He is still the same God that called me out of the ship onto rocky seas. He is still the same God that calms those waters as well. I'm the one that took my eyes off of Him and looked at my circumstances. He was standing there the entire time just waiting for me to not be angry and look up. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What I find most lovely is that God is no less pleased with my questions and bitterness. He knew it would come. He knew it was necessary for me to begin working through things I never knew were there. He dared me to call Him out on what He called me from. And as always, the way He worked is never disappointing. <b> Somehow, I'm always surprised when He shows up</b>. I'm not sure why, though. It's who He is, and it is what He does. </span></div>
mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-73974835133375343092013-07-02T06:37:00.001-07:002013-07-02T17:29:24.935-07:00What I'm LearningAdam has been gone since midnight last Sunday. It's been over a week of being a full-time, only parent. Not working during the day means that for the most part, the girls have had to be with me for 24 hours a day. I feel sorry for them.<br />
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We've had a few moments of reprieve from friends and grandparents that have swept them away for a few moments of change. I'm pretty sure I can get pretty boring. I've only got so many games of Shoots and Ladders in me, ya know?<br />
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I miss Adam immensely. But I'm continually reminded that this trip was meant for me to grow closer to Jesus just as much as it was for him. Every time I begin to slip into this ugly loneliness of heart, I'm reminded that Adam wasn't created to fill that void and end that loneliness. Only Jesus can fill that void. And so it has brought me to Him numerous times over the last 8 days. There have been some big moments that I've needed to share with Adam, and obviously I can't with him in the Dominican. But turning to Jesus in the night, tears in my eyes, brought so much peace and comfort. I really felt Him there. I really felt His promises.<br />
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And more than anything, I've found this new heart of compassion for single parents and children, whether through divorce or death. I always knew it had to be so tough. But after 8 days, I realize that it's my turn to stand in the gap for those parents and children that are carrying on longer than my short 12 days away from my partner. It's my turn to carry them in prayer and begin to think of ways to serve them. Would you think about it, too?<br />
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<br />mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-22797086340348824892013-05-15T19:11:00.001-07:002013-05-15T19:14:24.452-07:00My Cost of Going<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Rarely, if ever, in my life do I cling to what is out of my
comfort zone.</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don’t like being in
groups larger than 3-4. I have lived in the same house for about 30 of my 34
years. I order the same thing at our local Chinese restaurant.</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every. Time.</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tell me six months ago that I would be willing to step out
of the most comfortable place I’ve been the last eight years of my life in
order to be obedient to God’s calling
on my life – and I probably would have laughed, rolled my eyes, and said,
“Yeah. Right.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But the closer I get to this man called Jesus Christ, the
less I see Him teach on staying comfortable. The more I’ve studied what it
means to follow Jesus Christ, the less the world makes sense to me. If I am to
gauge everything through Christ’s lens, then comfort, wealth, earthly security,
and future planning beyond tomorrow don’t make sense. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In January, I <a href="http://mindijoslone.blogspot.com/2013/02/what-forever-must-really-mean.html" target="_blank">attended the Passion Conferences</a> in Atlanta,
GA. It was four days of Spirit-filled worship and teaching. While I went as a leader, I knew that the
Holy Spirit had something for me there.
I went with my hands open and my heart ready to be broken. And the Holy
Spirit didn’t disappoint. I prayed for a super-natural love for the Scriptures. And the Holy Spirit didn’t disappoint. I prayed to embrace suffering, whatever that
might look for a white middle-income American wife and mother of two who
teaches high school English. And the
Holy Spirit didn’t disappoint. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">*****</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It really all started about three years ago. Three years ago a high school girl asked me
to step out of my comfort zone and be a small group leader at our church. I
didn’t want to. I didn’t want to give up
my Sunday evenings. I didn’t want to
invest in students that had the potential to hold something against me and ruin
my days as a teacher. I didn’t want to sacrifice the most important thing I
had: my time. But it was through that request that God
heard me say, “Yes,” no matter how begrudgingly at first. And now, he hears me
say, “Yes,” with no reservations because he was faithful then, and I know He’s not going to change on me now. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’ve always wondered how
I could use my “gifts, talents, and abilities” (as my pastor often says)
for the glory of God and the building of His Kingdom. My <i>gifts</i> or <i>talents</i>? Teaching? In a public
school? Sure. I can live a life of integrity.
I can show grace to students that have never known what grace looks
like. I can attempt to live a life
consistent of a “good” Christian and let others <i>see</i> Christ in me, but they will never get to really experience how He changes me every day or
talk about His redemptive work in my life or those I know. And I have no doubt that this is what God
calls us to do as believers in the public schools. I feel I have done my best (The last few
years better than the first few). Teaching is my primary focus. Ministry is secondary. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You have to know, I’ve fought being in the “ministry” my
entire life. Growing up as the daughter
of the school corporation’s bible teacher, I always made a vow that I would
NEVER… and I mean <i>never</i> <i>ever </i>be involved
in the ministry. I also said I wasn’t going to marry a hairy man. You can see
where this is going . . . God has an incredible sense of humor. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So it started with a gut feeling that I was supposed to
apply at <a href="http://www.crossingeducation.com/" target="_blank">The Crossing Educational Center</a>, a faith-based school for students
that are struggling in a traditional school setting. And you must know, I
pushed it aside for almost three years. I ignored it. I laughed at it. I
shunned it. But the thing is, it never went away. Which always means something,
right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Leaving Atlanta, GA in January, I knew what God was asking
me to do. It no longer was a gut
feeling; He pretty much made it very clear.
Just apply. He wasn’t asking anything more. Just apply.
I considered this my “Abraham and Isaac” moment. I was placing my career
at BHS on the alter to say, “Look. I’m willing.
Now, where’s the ram?” Fortunately for me, it wasn't just a test. There was no ram to substitute what I was offering. But what He asked from me was replaced by a much bigger blessing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I remember the night I submitted my application. No one really knew but my husband. I sat in bed and before hitting the "submit" button, I prayed over my laptop. I asked God to open doors and close doors. I didn't ask Him to make it easy; I just asked Him to make the answer clear. And if you were to hear a few of the details, I think that while you may think I'm crazy, you would agree it is exactly where I am called to be.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Just a few weeks ago I was offered a job at The Crossing. And what I thought was going to be an easy decision, became about finances, work schedules, childcare... really, when it boils down to it, I was making excuses for a plan that God clearly had for my life. And I just want to go on record as saying, the moment I let go of it all... the moment I took (what for me) was a HUGE step of faith, when I didn't see anything but the teeny-tiny step in front of me, when I didn't have all the answers or all the solutions, but I took a step of faith because I trust the One who called me, God blessed me and affirmed the decision to resign my English position at Bremen High School. If we could sit down for coffee (or tea), I would tell you about God's timing, about His faithfulness in the unknown, about the way He loved me when I felt like I was crazy for quitting my job and following a direction people say I'm a bit crazy and radical for following. So many small and large details that only He could work out. None of it was coincidence. I could have fought it. But I would have been miserable knowing He said, "Go" and I let him call my bluff. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So the announcement: After eight years of teaching at Bremen High School, this is my final year. Tomorrow I tell my colleagues and students. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm so excited to step into this new role at The Crossing. I'm scared to step out of my comfort zone. I'm scared to walk away from security. I'm scared about walking away from an ideal teaching position in a wonderful high school, a pension in my future. It is going to be very difficult to walk away. I'm already in the process of writing an Open Letter to my students. You always think it is easy to walk away. But it is always harder than you think.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But it isn't about what I'm walking away from anymore. It is about what I'm walking toward. I'm walking toward a plan that has already shown me that my God dreams bigger than I could ever dream for myself (John 10:10; Mark 9:23-24). I'm walking toward His redemption story in my life and in the lives of students that not only I hope to touch, but I know will <i>forever</i> make a mark on me and my families life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The lyrics to Oceans by Hillsong UNITED have really been an encouragement to me. If you find yourself in that spot where you know He is calling you to more... but you don't even know where to start, I encourage you to listen to this song a few times over. But just remember, these words are powerful. Our words have power. Our words to Him have the power to change our life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oceans (Where My Feet May Fail)</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: purple; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="text-align: center;">You call me out upon the waters</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">The great unknown where feet may fail</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><b><i><span style="text-align: center;">And there I find You in the mystery</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">In oceans deep</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">My faith will stand</span></i></b><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">And I will call upon Your name</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">And keep my eyes above the waves</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">When oceans rise</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">My soul will rest in Your embrace</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">For I am Yours and You are mine</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><b><i><span style="text-align: center;">Your grace abounds in deepest waters</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">Your sovereign hand</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">Will be my guide</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">You've never failed and You won't start now</span></i></b><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">So I will call upon Your name</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">And keep my eyes above the waves</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">When oceans rise</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">My soul will rest in Your embrace</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">For I am Yours and You are mine</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;"><b><i>Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders</i></b></span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">Let me walk upon the waters</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">Wherever You would call me</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">And my faith will be made stronger</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">In the presence of my Savior</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><i style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">[x6]</i><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">I will call upon Your Name</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">Keep my eyes above the waves</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">My soul will rest in Your embrace</span><br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">I am Yours and You are mine</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="text-align: center;">Recent article in the Elkhart Truth:</span></span></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.elkharttruth.com/article/20130503/NEWS01/705039966" target="_blank">Educator sees the ugly and inspirational in at-risk students' lives</a></div>
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<!--EndFragment-->mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-18730536852445957122013-03-29T08:43:00.002-07:002013-03-29T08:47:09.087-07:00Good Friday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj54M8rywOZ3P1mFQnjnq-OrvLuKz6KjCMiYbF-SGKEY0jWf1l35BdMF9LpPd51QKupeDn8yf6d9VsxFQL_J76ahdZo_H9VM7tykSPo55p45vyx5wDYDM941gR7qZ3DyiHy6tOWxYdGsSvJ/s1600/IMG_1069.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj54M8rywOZ3P1mFQnjnq-OrvLuKz6KjCMiYbF-SGKEY0jWf1l35BdMF9LpPd51QKupeDn8yf6d9VsxFQL_J76ahdZo_H9VM7tykSPo55p45vyx5wDYDM941gR7qZ3DyiHy6tOWxYdGsSvJ/s640/IMG_1069.JPG" width="426" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I downloaded a free devotional for Holy Week from John Piper. These four points he made are just too good to not pass on.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We know the depth of someone's love for us based on these four things:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. By what it costs him. A sacrificed life > a few bruises</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. By how little we deserve it. The more undeserving we are of the love, the greater the love truly is. Romans 5-6</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. By the greatness of the benefits of that love. We have been rescued from death and torment. 1 John 3:1-3. I'd say that is a pretty great benefit. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4. By the freedom with which he loves us. Love that is coerced, paid for, or guilted is not great love. <i>"Love is deep in proportion to its liberty." </i>Ephesians 5:25-33; </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Jesus resolutely walked into persecution, humiliation, beatings, torment, and death. For me. And you. I'd say that is pretty deep love.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">John 15:13 <i><span style="color: #cc0000;">Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. </span></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">John 17:23 <i><span style="color: #cc0000;">May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you have sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. </span></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm thankful for Good Friday. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Jesus paid it all</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Sin had left a crimson stain</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>He washed it white as snow</i></span></div>
mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-20020814325757234082013-02-12T09:36:00.003-08:002013-02-12T09:36:38.841-08:00Where I Am Today<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Shout for joy</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Worship with gladness</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Know you are His</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Know His goodness endures</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">He is faithful</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Rest</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">You are good.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Hear me in the morning</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Let me lay my requests at your feet</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I will wait...with expectation of Your calling.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Arrogant will not stand.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">because of Your undeserved mercy-</span></i></div>
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Collection from Psalms</div>
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I need to redefine my rest.</div>
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I need to redefine my worship.</div>
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Will you join me? </div>
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mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-5749943647450279022013-02-09T07:49:00.000-08:002013-02-09T07:49:41.651-08:00What Forever Must Really Mean<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In November I was asked to accompany a group of about fifty 18-25 year olds to Passion Conference in Atlanta, Georgia from January 1-4. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There is a story about how fortunate I was that I got to accompany these students/young adults to the conference, but that isn't the important part of this post. Just know God orchestrated this week in Atlanta for not only 60,000 18-25 year olds, but it was also for a 34-year old wife, mother, daughter, friend, and teacher. </span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">God met me there. I saw Jesus in action. And the Holy Spirit was present.</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The worship was amazing. Should I name drop? Ok. I will. Live worship with Chris Tomlin, David Crowder, Christy Nokels, Kristian Stanfill, Matt Redman, Lacrae, Kari Jobe, and Jesus Culture (along with many other worship leaders). The Holy Spirit was ushered in. Some nights we even joked that it wouldn't surprise us to see Jesus appear before us. I know I felt the Holy Spirit. And while the worship was amazing and ushered my soul into a place of conviction, surrender, and adoration, the greatest thing was being fed continually from Scripture. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Leaders of the Passion Conference spend many hours praying over the Georgia Dome. I know there were many others, back home and around the globe, praying that God's word would be spoke and understood with clarity. And while it may not have been the same for every attendee, something happened for me while I was at Passion. A yearning and love for God's word began to grow in my heart deeper than it had ever before. Beth Moore spoke of a "supernatural love for God's word." That our passion for worship would become the same passion we have for His words to us. And I have to say, since then, I can't get enough of His words to us. I set the goal to wake up every morning at 5 am. And it hasn't happened. But, I will say that the moments I have with Him are more and more, and they are sweeter and sweeter. His word is alive. It is breathing. It is moving. It is radically changing me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Each speaker brought incredible insight and freedom in their messages. The word was opened. The word was cherished. The word was spoken. And it didn't return void. Isaiah 55:10-11 says, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"<span style="background-color: #fffefd; color: #001320; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, </span><span style="background-color: #fffefd; color: #001320; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #001320; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">Francis Chan spoke on the second evening. Those of you that have read my blog know that the Holy Spirit has used Francis Chan in a mighty way in my life. His simple words of truth, his conviction of the power of God's word, and his passion for discipleship and understanding God as He is (and not who we want Him to be) has radically changed the way I view being called a "Christian." So I wasn't surprised that when Francis Chan brought II TImothy 2:11-13 to us, it caused another moment of shift in my mind.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #001320; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">To give you a brief back story, about 7 months ago I began to have horrible nightmares. End of the world type stuff. Defending my home. Watching my children being taken away from me. Fighting and struggling to maintain peace and happiness for my family here on earth. There is a particular passage in Matthew 24 that I can barely stand to read when it discuss the end of the age. I still get weepy eyed. I still get scared. But in January I finally understood why I get scared. And it is something that I am trying to work through. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #001320; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">II TImothy 2:11-13 says, </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #001320; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">"Here is a trustworthy saying:</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #001320; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">If we disown him,</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #001320; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">for he cannot disown himself." </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #001320; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">And what the Holy Spirit pointed out to me was this: I don't trust these words completely. I drag my baggage of broken promises and human error into the words of God and it causes me to falter. It causes me to fear. It causes me to feel anxious. It causes me to have scary dreams. It causes me to skip passages in Scripture because it makes me feel uneasy. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #001320; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">Because I sometimes feel that God isn't faithful. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #001320; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">But here is the kicker. Those words above - it IS a trustworthy saying. My lack of trust in people CANNOT bleed over to my relationship with Christ Jesus. The relationship that He sealed with His blood on the cross many, many years ago. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #001320; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">God is faithful. He can be trusted. When people are not faithful to me, when people are not trustworthy, God still is. He has no hint of evil. He cannot disown himself and change who His is. He is faithful. I can lean upon His word. I can trust that when he says FOREVER I will reign with him because of His beautiful grace. Francis Chan mentioned Hosea and his pursuing of the prostitute Gomer. The metaphor of God's relentless pursuit of us, even when we look like a broken, dirty, faithless human. He is still faithful. He is waits. He offers us forever with Him. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #001320; line-height: 21px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">God is faithful forever. Forever really means something I can't comprehend. Forever means trusting in His forever. Forever means firmly holding to the end what we know He is (Hebrews 3:14). </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #001320; line-height: 21px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My future is secure. Daily I pray that God continue to strengthen my faith in Him and not in this fallen world. Never have I felt more torn between when the world calls us to do and what He calls us to do. It's creating such an uneasiness in me that I am constantly calling on Him to call me in the right direction, strongly guide me to where I may most contribute to His kingdom. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #001320;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">God's promises are trustworthy Mine may not always be. But I'm not God. And He's not human. I can trust him when He says, </span></span><span style="color: red;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">"Do not be afraid I am the First and the Last. I <i>am</i> the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive forever and ever!"</span></span><span style="color: #001320; line-height: 21px;"> (Revelation 1:17b)</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #001320; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">If you aren't familiar with Phil Wickam's "Heaven Song," take a listen. So beautiful. </span></span></div>
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mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-4313782003984889652013-01-29T05:12:00.003-08:002013-01-29T05:12:50.482-08:00Repost: Happy Birthday, Dad! <br />
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<span style="font-family: "Franklin Gothic Book","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 15.454545021057129px;">***This was originally posted last year. However, I felt it only right to put out there again how glad I am God gave me him as my father. Happy Birthday, Dad! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Rough_Typewriter; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 15.454545021057129px;">Dear Dad, January 29, 2012<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Rough_Typewriter; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 15.454545021057129px;"> Without getting too sentimental, I want to take a moment to thank you for all that you have been to me over the last 33 years of my life. I imagine most of the years I don't remember completely, But I do have some wonderful memories, and I know you and mom have put down the building blocks of my foundation to help me be the person I am today. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Rough_Typewriter; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 15.454545021057129px;">Thank you for being a dad that wasn't afraid to be brave and have fun with his daughter. I will forever cherish the time you made for me to go with me to Jimmy Buffett concerts. I fully plan on going back again soon! When people hear about those "camping trips" as father-daughter, they think it is so cool. And it is.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Rough_Typewriter; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 15.454545021057129px;">Thank you for loving my girls like you loved me. They know their grandpa loves them and would do anything for them. With you and Adam in their life, I hope they will find men that fill them and support them the same way you have. There is nothing wrong with being treated like the most special little girl in the world. At least I think I turned out ok, and you did that for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Rough_Typewriter; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 15.454545021057129px;">Thank you for all the years in high school and college that you were willing to give me any money that you had in your pocket (and you still offer today!) Your generosity has challenged me to be the same way to those around me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Rough_Typewriter; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 15.454545021057129px;">Thank you for <i>always</i> being there. Your ability to be a silent supporter is one of the greatest gifts God has given to me in my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Rough_Typewriter; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 15.454545021057129px;">Thank you for <i>always</i> being there to say "I love you." The more I am around students, the more I see that the majority of their problems stem from having an earthly father that never felt comfortable or need to tell his daughter that he loved them. I'm so grateful that you never hesitated to tell me that you loved me, that you cared for me, that you were there for me, and that I was very important and special to you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Rough_Typewriter; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 15.454545021057129px;">Thank you for just not being a man of words, but also for being a man of action in your love. Your sacrifices may not have always been noticed or verbally appreciated, but I know you made them and I want to say "thank you." Even today, after all these years, you still come to my rescue with set design, set construction, needing a gallon a milk, anything. Nothing is too insignificant or to demanding for you to demonstrate your love to me and my family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Rough_Typewriter; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 15.454545021057129px;">Thank you, dad. You really have been the greatest and most influntential man in my life. I feel so blessed to have had all these years to love and appreciate you. I feel so honored to be able to call you my dad. I feel so proud to know that my children have know the greatest grandpa in the world. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Type Keys Filled"; font-size: 48pt; line-height: 72.7272720336914px;">Happy Birthday, Dad!</span><span style="font-family: Rough_Typewriter; font-size: 48pt; line-height: 72.7272720336914px;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Rough_Typewriter; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 15.454545021057129px;"> I love you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Rough_Typewriter; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 15.454545021057129px;">***** Side note:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 14px;"><i>When I was 16, and my dad was just 43, he had a heart attack and surgery and an outlook that was originally 6 months to live. By the grace of God, the goodness of God, and all that God continues to be, my dad will turn 61 tomorrow. Eighteen years longer than a doctor originally stated. I feel so blessed to have been my father's daughter. </i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My mom and dad</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">family church picture 1982????</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Elkhart County 4H Fairgrounds</span></div>
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mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-44275554318933368502013-01-12T12:51:00.001-08:002013-01-12T12:51:50.436-08:00Christmas in Pictures<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Christmas has come and gone... but there are memories we can't forget.</div>
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This wonderful man should be given this kind of peace much more. He works so hard for our family. And I never hear him complain.</div>
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She fell asleep wearing an old pair of grandpa's reading glasses (missing the lenses).</div>
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Toes... Jolly Rancher Apple Green :)</div>
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Santa's Cookies: Just in case he wasn't sure :)</div>
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We decided she could pull of "Elf on the Shelf"</div>
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Reindeer tail left over from their annual Christmas performance</div>
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This life. </div>
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This life I have been blessed with only screams Jesus's grace and mercy on my life. </div>
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Praying that He continues to lead us so that we can share His blessing with those we meet.</div>
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<br />mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-81713461769392925342012-12-17T18:50:00.000-08:002012-12-17T18:50:02.120-08:00Money-Shot Monday: Recipe for Tears<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tomorrow is Adam and I's 8th wedding anniversary. I've been thinking for months it's #9. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One thing we both are horrible at are keeping presents secret until the actual "day." Christmas, birthday, anniversary, father's day. . . the gifts always show up early. This year was no exception.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Unfortunately, this year's anniversary feels like it is going to come and go with very little notice. I've prided myself the last 7 years of making our anniversary something special. It's usually an overnight trip to Chicago or a nice dinner and evening out. This year? I have musical auditions and he will take the girls to ballet and probably do the dishes. If that isn't reason enough to love him . . . </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, my MSM is a picture of my gift he surprised me with. Two weeks ago we took a slow walk through a local antique store and I found an old card catalogue that had old recipes in it. I liked the rusty metal, but the idea of having recipes from some little old lady that had taken the time to handwrite, type, collect old recipes was just too much to pass up. The thing I love about this man is that he truly pays attention to me. I sometimes feel bad that he hears all my little requests and remembers them; so many times throughout the day my brain is scattered so many directions. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well, the kicker is that he not only went and purchased this to surprise me, but he had both the girls write a special message on a recipe card for me. He also wrote a few sentiments. A perfect recipe for tears. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've been "raw" today anyway. I feel like tears have been pushing toward the surface all day. With all that is going on around us, I just keep calling on Immanuel to be with us. And this gift, this present of old and new, just felt so perfect. My girls rarely see me cry, but I was so glad they could see tears of joy today, as they saw their dad love their mom in her own love language. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I may never make any of these recipes. But I will cherish them all forever. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My hubby? He knows me. And as he said so sweetly the other night, "There is no one else he'd rather annoy for the rest of his life." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Linking up with <a href="http://www.flowerpatchfarmgirl.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Flower Patch Farmgirl's</a> MSM</i></span></div>
<br />mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-44025964063226429572012-12-10T19:51:00.000-08:002012-12-10T19:51:05.628-08:00Money Shot Monday: A Year of New Friendships<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This year has been a year for new friendships.</div>
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Not only for me, but also for my girls.</div>
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God's blessings are overwhelming as we keep our focus on being a servant to Him. </div>
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I'm looking forward to 2013. These friends that God has blessed us with. . . well, they are just what my family needed. </div>
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mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-40506039054480809022012-11-19T09:15:00.001-08:002012-11-19T09:17:51.747-08:00Said God Never.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The last 6 weeks or so my adult small group has been reading/discussing <i>Radical</i> by David Platt on Sunday mornings.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is a book I picked up a few years ago, and promptly (well, at least after two chapters) set it back down. I'm fairly good at playing ignorant. I'm fairly good at only filling my mind with things that are noble, worthy... you know the verse. I am quick to turn away from horror movie trailers, too much war, too much violence. Heck, even CSI and Law & Order is too much for me. I don't want to fill my mind with those things because I know they have a difficult time leaving. I still hear my mom saying (and I still tell my students), "Garbage in. Garbage out."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So picking up Platt isn't like watching a horror film with the gore of monsters, serial killers, etc.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">However, it is filled with the horror of my ability to be selfish and pretend that there isn't true need out there.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">God knew that had I read <i>Radical</i> when I first picked it up, the Holy Spirit would have very little room to work. I hadn't made enough room for Him in my life... in my day... in my moments. And while I am far from being "there," arriving at that moment with Jesus where I get everything He says so clearly and I obey the first time... I am a little closer to his heart. I am a little closer to understanding Him and feeling the motivation not from a guilty conscience, but from a desire to live so closely to Him and His will that I can no longer distinguish my goals and dreams from His.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was rattled today at this saying from the book.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I wish you would have kept more for yourself." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and then I like to add, "Said. God. Never." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm torn as most people are as they read <i>Radical</i>. I'm throwing out words like "balanced" and "logical." And then.... and then there is Jesus. Jesus didn't carry my logic. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm torn. In the idea of giving and helping others beyond myself, I'm convicted to give more than just my left overs. It reminds me of Francis Chan's <i>Crazy Love</i>. </span></div>
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<em style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.513513565063477px; line-height: 28.528528213500977px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For years I gave God leftovers and felt no shame. I simply took my eyes off Scripture and instead compared myself to others. The bones I threw at God had more meat on them than the bones others threw, so I figured I was doing fine... A mumbled three-minute prayer at the end of the day, when we are already half asleep. Two crumpled up dollar bills thrown as an after-thought into the church's fund for the poor. Fetch, God. (p. 91)</span></em></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fetch, God. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fetch, God. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Seriously. I have a hard time even typing it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And yet.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I do it. Daily. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What's the difference of giving him my leftovers and giving someone in need, someone that I so quickly judge and compare to make myself feel better, my leftovers? We need to always give our first fruits. Always give those things that we value. Not those things we won't even miss anyway. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My heart has been so messy lately. I want to blame exhaustion, working too much, too many demands, too many bills, too little time for.... I not content in my job. I feel like its value in His kingdom is not there. There are too many things on my plate to really focus on where my heart wants to be. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Honestly, Jesus is just checking my heart. And I know it. Today in church, I finally found the words to the prayer my heart has been trying to say for months.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Break my life for Yours. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm scared.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Because I know He is listening. </span></div>
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mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-4224667734504048562012-06-01T16:56:00.004-07:002012-06-01T16:58:36.580-07:00Let's Risk the Ocean . . . There's Only Grace<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, it's been almost 6 months since I've updated my blog. Not that I think anyone would notice. But I do.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Summer approaches, and I always have this grandiose plans for my blogging. What it will become... how it will look.... how "read" it will be.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But truth is, the blogging is really for me. Comedian Mike Birbiglia calls it a "secret public journal." So, I guess that's what this is.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Summer is just two school days (three with my teacher day) away. And it couldn't come quick enough. For some reason, I've checked out early. I'm just overall exhausted with the 1:1 initiative going on and my responsibilities with that. I'm ready for a break. But in typical manner, I begin looking at my calendar and I get all depressed that the new school year is actually just around the corner. I'm doing my best to hold onto each moment. It's too soon to look to August. We have a summer ahead of us, folks. And it looks to be a good one.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">June brings us a ballet recital, first ever soccer camp, volunteering at the library, summer camp for a now first grader, a 6 year-old birthday party, ear piercing, lots and lots of graduation open houses (from girls I will miss so dearly), a wedding, and my mom's birthday. Oh, and I'm getting all four of my wisdom teeth out. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">July brings 5 days at Senior High summer camp for both me and the hubby (you can start praying now ;), a cavity filled, and more volunteering at the library. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And then there is August. Let's not talk about it, ok. It starts early with Staff Professional Development, and Savannah starts first grade. I can't go there yet. So again, I won't.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm looking forward to Jesus working this summer on me. I'm prepared. My heart is tender. I feel Him calling and moving. I know He wants me to give more, but I want to be selfish and say I've given all I got. Unfortunately, when I say that, He gives me more to give away. Adam and I both feel a restlessness inside us, and we don't think there is any turning back now that we know differently. Hence, Senior High Summer camp. This goes BEYOND my comfort-zone, ya'll. God is really asking a lot of me for these five days :). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I always start out summer with big plans to get healthy. Two summers ago when I was so in love with running, my life changed.... for about 9 months. Then, my foot started hurting (self-diagnosed <i>plantar fasciitis</i>) and moving sometimes makes me look like a 99 year-old woman in need of a walker. I'm determined to push through it this summer. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Next school year looks to be exciting. But also overwhelming. I'm finally bidding adieu to Freshman English. I'm moving up to Senior English. I'm incredibly excited to do something new. But with it, comes teaching with laptops, the 1:1 Initiative. I'm so overwhelming positive about it, but it is also such a daunting task. I'm also taking on the role of Fall Drama Director this year. This year only. With the musical in the winter, I think I'll be tapped out. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And yet, I'm still feeling God call me somewhere. Not sure where. Not sure how He wants to use me. But he does. And sometimes I'm left speechless as to why He wants to use me. I'm still incredibly selfish at times. I'm still incredibly unforgiving at times. I gossip. I'm lazy. I struggle with patience. But... then God, </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #f9fdff; color: #001320; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f9fdff; color: #001320; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Romans 5:8</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f9fdff; color: #001320; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And then there is grace. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f9fdff; color: #001320; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While we are on the topic of grace... how in the world does the David Crowder* Band just sing of grace so beautifully. If you aren't sure what I mean, take a few minutes and listen to this. It's currently my favorite song. Maybe I'll just leave you with that. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f9fdff; color: #001320; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></span></div>mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-29787605012257853522012-01-28T10:28:00.000-08:002013-01-29T05:11:19.952-08:00Happy Birthday, Dad!<br />
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<span style="font-family: Rough_Typewriter; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dear Dad, January
29, 2012<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Rough_Typewriter; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> Without getting
too sentimental, I want to take a moment to thank you for all that you have
been to me over the last 33 years of my life.
I imagine most of the years I don't remember completely, But I do have
some wonderful memories, and I know you and mom have put down the building
blocks of my foundation to help me be the person I am today. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Rough_Typewriter; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Thank you for being a dad that wasn't afraid to be brave and
have fun with his daughter. I will
forever cherish the time you made for me to go with me to Jimmy Buffett
concerts. I fully plan on going back
again soon! When people hear about those "camping trips" as
father-daughter, they think it is so cool.
And it is. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Rough_Typewriter; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Thank you for loving my girls like you loved me. They know their grandpa loves them and would
do anything for them. With you and Adam
in their life, I hope they will find men that fill them and support them the
same way you have. There is nothing
wrong with being treated like the most special little girl in the world. At least I think I turned out ok, and you did
that for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Rough_Typewriter; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Thank you for all the years in high school and college that
you were willing to give me any money that you had in your pocket (and you
still offer today!) Your generosity has challenged me to be the same way to
those around me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Rough_Typewriter; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Thank you for <i>always</i>
being there. Your ability to be a silent
supporter is one of the greatest gifts God has given to me in my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Rough_Typewriter; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Thank you for <i>always</i>
being there to say "I love you."
The more I am around students, the more I see that the majority of their
problems stem from having an earthly father that never felt comfortable or need
to tell his daughter that he loved them.
I'm so grateful that you never hesitated to tell me that you loved me,
that you cared for me, that you were there for me, and that I was very
important and special to you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Rough_Typewriter; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Thank you for just not being a man of words, but also for
being a man of action in your love. Your
sacrifices may not have always been noticed or verbally appreciated, but I know
you made them and I want to say "thank you." Even today, after all these years, you still
come to my rescue with set design, set construction, needing a gallon a milk,
anything. Nothing is too insignificant
or to demanding for you to demonstrate your love to me and my family. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Rough_Typewriter; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Thank you, dad. You
really have been the greatest and most influntential man in my life. I feel so blessed to have had all these years
to love and appreciate you. I feel so
honored to be able to call you my dad. I
feel so proud to know that my children have know the greatest grandpa in the
world. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Type Keys Filled"; font-size: 48.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Happy
Birthday, Dad!</span><span style="font-family: Rough_Typewriter; font-size: 48.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Rough_Typewriter; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> I love you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Rough_Typewriter; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">***** Side note:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 14px;"><i>When I was 16, and my dad was just 43, he had a heart attack and surgery and an outlook that was originally 6 months to live. By the grace of God, the goodness of God, and all that God continues to be, my dad will turn 61 tomorrow. Eighteen years longer than a doctor originally stated. I feel so blessed to have been my father's daughter. </i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My mom and dad</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">family church picture 1982????</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Elkhart County 4H Fairgrounds</span></div>
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mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-89009071763771053712012-01-16T17:46:00.001-08:002012-01-16T18:53:37.070-08:00Grace for Even Me<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm currently reading with a small group of women a book called <i><a href="http://www.chattingatthesky.com/the-books/">Grace for the Good Girl</a></i> by Emily Freeman. And while for most of my life I would have considered myself a "good girl," somewhere along the way God's grace and mercy released me from the need to wear masks. I still wear them on occasion. It usually involves my laid-back personality, my ability to not show I'm self-concious, and my indifference. I'm a person that will usually speak what I'm thinking (when it is appropriate), and I can't "fake" well when it comes to my emotions toward others. I don't always play nice with my attitude. I'm still working on that. With that said, there are some points in Freeman's book so far that have stuck with me that I would like to share.</span><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"And then there is God" (18). Throughout the text, and often throughout my days, I have been finding myself repeating this line to myself. And then there is God...</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But I don't know how.... And then there is God.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But I don't know when....
And then there is God.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But I don't know why....
And then there is God.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But I don't know....
And then there is God.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It seems to continually answer all of my questions. Because the power that resides in me with the Holy Spirit is limitless. The same Spirit that raised Lazarus from the dead is the same Spirit that wants to work those same miracles in my life. He wants to show me that same unending love. He wants to raise those things in me that need life back to breathing. And so.... I remind myself... and then there is God. </span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">". . .Our masks mix with our personality and circumstances. Before we know it, we don't really know who we are, and nobody else does, either" (24-25).</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This used to be me. Thank you, Jesus, that You broke these chains. I see this all around me in my day-to-day. And it saddens me. At the end of the day, I ask myself... whose opinion of "me" matters, and the only one that continues to resound in my head is <i>Jesus</i>. His opinion matters. That's it. As long as I am OK with Him, nothing else really matters. </span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"And I'm embarrassed at the predicable pattern of defeat that my life has become" (25).</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is fairly self-explanatory. It's the truth, too.</span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I had heard the truth, that there was no man who could fill the ache inside from all of those empty parts that were never satisfied. I heard only Jesus could do that. Still, I thought<i> maybe.</i> Maybe our marriage will be different. Better. Other-than. Enough" (29).</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After seven years of marriage, I finally believe what I have heard. As long as we are earth, we will fail one another. We will be selfish. We will hurt with words. We will make unwise choices. I thought my marriage would be different. Luckily, God rescued me from that misconception. With Him at the center, it has radically changed my marriage. </span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"The Good Mom" p. 30-31</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This passage just made me feel normal about the dishes in my sink, the trash in my car, the laundry piled up to the doorknob, the clean laundry leaning like the Tower of Pisa, the 9x13 pan of lasagna still sitting in my fridge. Thank you, Emily. I'm normal.</span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"When we believe that God expects us to try hard to become who Jesus wants us to be, we will live in that blurry, frustrating land of Should Be rather than trust in The One Who Is. . . Jesus isn't even in the room" (32).</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want Jesus in the room with me. I want to always remember..."because Jesus"...I can rest not in all the things I want/should/hope to be, but I can rest in all of those things He has called me to be.</span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"We believe that any amount of broken mess disqualifies us from useful activity for God, we determine to stay decidedly unbroken" (51).</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This one makes me want to stand on a soap-box for a bit. So, please allow me a moment to do so. I have learned that the "broken mess" is what actually QUALIFIES you. That's right. When I am sitting across from someone, having a heart-to-heart, I don't want to hear about your perfect world of make believe. We all have crap (sorry, messes in our lives). I just choose to not hide behind mine. I've learned that there is a time a place to share my mess. However, God uses my messes to teach me, to teach others, to encourage me, to encourage others, to heal me, and to heal others. The way that he has used 6 high school girls in my life to teach me is unbelievable. It has broken me. It has made me a better mother, teacher, wife, friend, and daughter. They want to hear some of my ugliness. They then feel normal when I tell them they aren't alone. Hiding behind the <i>I'm fine</i> and <i>I'm great</i> doesn't really have a place for me. This isn't easy. It takes energy. It takes vulnerability. And I don't do it all the time. But, let's just say it is my preferred choice of interaction. Unfortunately, I get so rare occasion to share what is really deep, deep down. I fully believe many things in my life have occurred to make II Corinthians 1:3-7 relevant in my life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-28804" style="background-color: white; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: text-top;">3</sup><span style="background-color: white;"> Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, <b>the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, </b></span><b><sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-28805" style="background-color: white; vertical-align: text-top;">4</sup><span style="background-color: white;"> who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. </span><sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-28806" style="background-color: white; vertical-align: text-top;">5</sup></b><span style="background-color: white;"><b> For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.</b> </span><sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-28807" style="background-color: white; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: text-top;">6</sup><span style="background-color: white;"> If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. </span><sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-28808" style="background-color: white; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: text-top;">7</sup><span style="background-color: white;"> And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.</span></i>
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<li><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"You and I can now go to him in freedom and joy, not to gain favor but because we already have it. We are free to draw near rather than to try to please from afar" (76).</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Wow. We already have it. Draw near. Draw Near.</span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"There is more power in sharing weakness than our strengths" (86). - Brennan Manning</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All I can muster for this one is Amen, Brennan. Amen. (By the way, one of my favorite books is Brennan Manning's <i>A Ragamuffin Gospel</i>... hence my blog title.)</span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"And you will smile and wave from a distance, because who they think you are is infinitely more important than who you really are" (92).</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This breaks my heart. Lord, may we all rest in who we are in You and You alone.</span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"We have a Creator who knows about the swing. He set it into motion" (144).</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thank goodness! My <i>quiet time</i> or <i>TAWG</i> doesn't always have to be an early morning watching the glorious sunset with a fresh cup of coffee and my notes, bible, highlighters, etc spread around me as I spend time with God. Some of my greatest moments with God are in my car at 7:30 in the morning as I lift my hands in worship (I can only imagine what people think as they pass by me) and in earnest prayer for those around me. Those moments far outweigh my uncomfortable couch.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm working on this one. I'm really trying. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We don't need fixing. We need healing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And then there is God. </span></div>mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-42977743285101029752012-01-12T18:07:00.001-08:002012-01-12T18:07:58.826-08:00Survey in response to FPFGcurrent guilty pleasure: The Paper.... Particularly the Speak Out section
current nail color: Uh, no.
current playlist: Hillsong United - "Arms Open Wide"
current read: Kisses for Katie, book of Luke
current drink: coffee.
current food: Martin's Killer Brownies
current favorite show: Reruns of Office
current wish list: A new couch
current needs: more determination
current triumphs: loving more
current bane of my existence: Planter Fasctitis
current celebrity crush: Dace Matthews... Still
current indulgence: Ticket To Ride with hubby
current blessing: obedience
current outfit:heather sweatshirt blazer, navy blue shirt, grey work-out pants (I'm in school clothes from the waste up)
current excitement: still on a high from being pampered bt Apple in Chicago
current mood: exhausted
current link: Passion 2012 all access
I have so many posts worth while to write. But, they will have to wait for another day.mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-80388925056828550892011-11-14T21:12:00.000-08:002011-11-15T08:33:28.922-08:00I'm Still Here<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I'm a bit shocked that it's been three months. School hadn't even started yet. And here I sit, finishing up the first term of the 2011-2012 school year, and I am just now sitting down to write about it. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Would you like the excuses? No? Well, I will feel better giving them to you.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I like to sleep. So often, I choose going to bed over writing.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I don't like sitting in my laundry room all by myself.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I only get the time to write when EVERYONE is in bed.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Ok, now that the excuses are out of the way, I'll really share.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">When I wrote this summer, I spoke so loudly about getting healthy. Guess what? It lasted a few weeks into school starting. I made excuses (are you seeing a common theme here?), I wasn't seeing the results I thought I should see, and overall, I just was tired of "finding time" for myself. So I sit here, three months later, and no healthier than I was before. Don't get me wrong. I think about getting back on that treadmill... On those nice brisk days about getting out and hitting the pavement... but that is all the further it goes. I think about it. Too bad life isn't made up of all that we think of doing. Where might we actually be if that was the case? </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">My days seem to have been filled with kindergarten and all the sickness that it brings as Savannah is a petri dish for every illness she <i>never</i> got since she didn't attend preschool. And yes, her little sister gets it eventually. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">My days are spent teaching Literature to students who generally don't care. Some days one can hear, "Do we have to do this?" so many times before I want to reply with, "No, I already know it. I've read this 4 times already today and for the past 7 years, so "we" don't <i>have </i>to. But <i>you </i>do. So enjoy." </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">My days are spent trying to make sure I don't forget something important I was <i>supposed</i> to do, or a bill I was <i>supposed</i> to pay <i>on time.</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">My days are spent with wondering why the clothes on the floor generally don't belong to me, but for some reason, I get to pick them up and put them where they belong. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">My days are spent wondering if when I pick up a room, and walk out of it, if it will ever stay that way. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">My days are spent hoping that we sell a motorcycle so that we can purchase some furniture. A girl (and her hubby and two kids) can only cram onto a tiny loveseat with so much love. Especially when the wooden braces are pushing into your sides and the staples are sticking out of the arms. But this girl refuses to go into more debt just to be "comfortable." </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Lately my days have been spent trying to read this</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">so that I can try to help guide 6 Senior girls through some of the toughest waters I have ever seen. When I prayed "Expand my territory, God," I didn't expect for all the joy, pain, love, encouragement, and heartbreak that it could bring. I know, <i>I know</i> God is using this time now to prepare me for my girls when they hit this age. The lies that Satan is telling these girls are really not much different than when I was there age (or that I hear <i>now.) </i>The difference is the force with which these lies are being thrown at them. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">While I read that for them, I am reading this for me. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">And although I don't really see myself as the "good girl," I do know that I do an awful lot of hiding. I just don't want to admit that I do. I do a great job of faux self-confidence. (Oh wow, I just put that out there.)</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">But there is one line that I took from this week's reading from <i>Grace...</i> It is this:</span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">And then there is God (18).</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">So although this post, my first post back after such a long time, seems to be negative... me complaining about how my days are filled... about me going on and on about my daily stuff.... the thing that rescues me is this: And then there is God. And then there is Jesus. And then there is the Holy Spirit. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">At the end of the day, they are there to pick me up. God is there to give me the grace I so desperately don't deserve. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">He is there to remind me that although I didn't make it to the treadmill today, I am still loved because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, in <i>His </i>image. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">He is there to remind me that although my babies keep picking up pesky illnesses, I do have two babies on loan to me from Him. And through my love, care, compassion, and guidance, they will hopefully catch a little of Him.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Jesus is there to remind me that although I have students that could care less about Literature, they do care about being loved and acknowledged for who they are. I will be the first to admit that I don't do this everyday for every student. But I do try to be His hands and feet and teach with a light that shines brightly. I know for some, that they will never read a Bible or go to church. However, they may see Jesus in me. And that may just be enough.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">The Holy Spirit is there to remind me that although I don't always remember what I'm doing or what bills I'm paying, He is the Comforter that brings me peace when I feel I just can't make the dollar stretch any more.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Collectively, They remind me that I am blessed to have clothes to pick up. I am blessed to have a home to clean. I am blessed to have a loveseat... no matter how snuggly it can sometimes get. I am blessed. I am blessed. I. Am. Blessed.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">And those girls... those girls that stretch my heart bigger so that I can love others outside of my own skin and flesh and blood more... God uses them to remind me that age does not effect our ability to encourage, love, give, play, laugh, cry, and trust others. These girls have brought me closer to Him. They have shown me His light ever more clearly in my own life. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Give it a try. Ask God to expand your territory. See what happens. I dare ya. </span></div>
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</span></div>mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-47067310293037228142011-08-05T06:41:00.000-07:002011-08-05T06:41:34.402-07:00My feet let me down today, but He didn't.I went for my first "run" outside yesterday since the heat/humidity broke. I have been running on the DREADmill, and although it bores me out of my mind to stare at the blue outlet box, I didn't realize how much of a shock absorber it was for my body.<br />
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So, I hit the pavement last night, feeling confident, and it didn't take long (actually, only about 15 minutes into it) to realize that my body was not agreeing with my confidence. My back hurt. My knees were lead. And my right foot was getting that shooting pain I had two years ago when I stopped running. <br />
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About minute 24, I gave up running. I walked. And it was weird. Because what I heard was Jesus saying, "OK, now that I have your attention, let me talk to you. You can't hear Me over your raucous breathing. You can't hear me over your constant supervision of the watch on your wrist. So, stop running, and listen."<br />
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So I did. And I learned a two things:<br />
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1. What my expectations are for myself or situations, rarely happen. However, what Jesus often has in store is much more rewarding.<br />
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2. It's okay to be angry and to feel hurt in life. My biggest lesson right now is what I do with it. I can be angry, and not sin. Jesus got pretty angry at the moneychangers in the Temple in Matthew. However, in his anger, he did not sin. Unfortunately, I don't have that down yet. Often when I am angry or hurt, my tongue is the first to spring into action. This week in my TAWG I have been reading through James. And James puts it right out there about how dangerous of a weapon the tongue can be. <br />
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<em>James 3:2-6 : We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check. When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. </em><br />
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This is a verse I should have tattooed on my forearms so that it never leaves my sight. Much of my life I have struggled with how to best keep my mouth shut in moments I feel I "deserve" to speak up. My mother has often told me that silence is often the best response. I should be a wall for others' words to bounce off and return to them in the void of saying anything else. Let them hear themselves talk.<br />
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This morning when I got up, my body hurt from yesterday. What hurt more, however, were those moments when I could not undo those things that I had said. I am often right in my anger, but often very WRONG in my response.<br />
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<em>Lord, help me today to control my tongue. Help me to control the words that spring from my heart. Guide my intentions and motives today in what I say and do. Let this be a day where you are pleased with me and how I've tried to live for You.</em><br />
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<div align="center"></div>mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-91503723057111416442011-06-21T20:47:00.000-07:002011-06-21T20:47:23.477-07:00I Say A Little Prayer for You....<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So, this post is perhaps long overdue. It isn't going to be filled with cute pictures of my children. It isn't going to be filled with pictures of my out-of-control garden. It isn't going to be filled with my Summer Bucket List. Don't worry, all of those things are coming.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">But tonight, it's something different.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You see, I've been trying to deny some things, and I just can't do it anymore. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I've allowed myself to live in a fog for about 7 months now. Well, consistently 7 months. When I have had the desire to do something more, I have made an excuse. I'm not in denial about these being excuses. I know exactly what they are. I hate when people say "I'm not making excuses but,...." because seriously, that's what they are doing. So, I made excuses. Excuses why I wasn't reading my Bible more, excuses why I wasn't reading my small group text, excuses why I wasn't journaling, excuses why I wasn't blogging, and excuses why I wasn't running (please note: I use the term running loosely. I don't believe a 12 minute mile is running; however, the idea of walking is so boring to me that I have to throw in some jogging to get through it.)</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In other words, excuses why I wasn't taking care of myself emotionally, spiritually, and physically. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The thing about summer: my excuses are gone. And so, I notice myself living in a fog. And unfortunately it has been a dense fog with an indefinite fog delay, allowing me to stay "inside" and not live. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My priorities have shifted from where I was two years ago. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Tonight I was on my inaugural run (I've had about three of these in the last two years), and I felt something click. The Holy Spirit brought some things to mind that really made me settle into myself and see where I am. I wish when I "ran" I had a notepad in my brain that would record all of the thoughts that happen. I think of so many things that I want to remember, knowing that when I walk in the door from being out I will be bombarded by "Mom, you know wh-a-a-a-a-a-a-t?" Don't get me wrong, these questions (</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1000x day</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">) are precious, and I cherish them greatly. However, they have the ability to run all of my thoughts right out of my head as it is filled with how many "Wolly Wockets" (aka Polly Pockets) one can fit into a speed boat. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">As I was saying, I settled into myself and realized a few things.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1. </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When I take care of myself, I take care of my relationship with Christ. </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">On the road, sweating, panting, begging for grace, ignoring the eyes looking back at me that say "Oh, you poor woman, you try so hard," I have clarity. Jesus speaks to me. About how I treated my husband. About how I missed an opportunity to play with my girls because I needed to check facebook in the morning with a cup of coffee instead. You see, by "me" being put on the back-burner, Jesus was also put there. I don't like to admit this, but if you know anything about me, I can't fake it. I've never been a "fake-it-till-you-make-it" kinda girl. If my hubby and I are disagreeing, you'll know it by the silence between us when you sit beside us in a restaurant. I just can't act like something or do something that is not true to me. And so, this "fog" is not true to me. I have to name it, so I, with God's help, can change it. So there is my current truth about my current status with Jesus. He has always been there. He is still showing himself to me. I still invite him into parts of my day ("Sweet Jesus, help me not jam the remote down my husband's throat as he continues to chew on it"). But I haven't invited him into every detail of my day. I've kinda forgotten He's there even when I don't call on Him. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">2. </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My prayer life sucks.</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Yes, I said the awful 's' word. It S.U.C.K.S. And so, I want to make a commitment to those of you reading this (i.e.. mom, dad, and maybe my hubby if I ask him if he read my blog) that as I "run," I will say a little prayer for you. My playlist tonight was set to shuffle. But it was amazing that every time a song came on, I felt the need to pray the words over a certain person. Some of the people were people I didn't know but passed as I was puffing down the road. Some of the people were friends that I deeply love. But I think this is a good place to start. Although Joey's prayer every meal is sweet, precious, and completely what God loves (she is always sure to thank Jesus for the coffee shop and bakery?), that isn't enough for me to have time with Him. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">3. </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> So the last thing that I can remember is this one request. Will you pray for me? </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I don't want this fog to just be a brief clearing. As I type this, Pandora is playing the old hymn "I Need Thee Every Hour." How fitting. Please pray that I continue to make this time for Jesus. I need Him every hour. You need Him every hour. I just need to make sure that I can meet Him for an Hour on the road, at least 4 days a week. I'm excited to see how this not only changes my physical state, but how it also changes my mental and spiritual state.</span><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"Oh bless me now my Saviour, I come to thee."</span></i></div>mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-64670714958515052782011-05-22T17:09:00.000-07:002011-05-22T17:11:06.119-07:00A Slice of Cake... and lots of Attitude<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"> I can hardly believe it was three years ago...</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdfVf2Zp37OLRYrBGxwZ8OP1joWWt7wWb9r4r8HyMTWxVxmKAJQa3VxPQf_40-nRTdZPQtEKATZo7c6vjvvhjJrmA6qCSmhhiBRyvpq8Uks-WgetPNtNEf7p5FLtkiU1ThgLzySIxUFCeB/s1600/DSC04012.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="425" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdfVf2Zp37OLRYrBGxwZ8OP1joWWt7wWb9r4r8HyMTWxVxmKAJQa3VxPQf_40-nRTdZPQtEKATZo7c6vjvvhjJrmA6qCSmhhiBRyvpq8Uks-WgetPNtNEf7p5FLtkiU1ThgLzySIxUFCeB/s640/DSC04012.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Little baby Jo-Jo came into this world via planned C-Section. Savannah was such a chore, so I didn't want to end up after 36 hours of labor and 8 hours of pushing to hear, "Ehhh... I think we are going to have to do C-Section." So we planned it. Picked the date.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS4Cs_bEBfqDuPExAMbFd52cmecM0krZPLijS2dxdD8AhfnJR0HoisSBEKEnH7KpnYpNbU1bEmchVZrWK_FFed10kskT6RM0szDQ3HOtexee6GL0rq1UKLj_D6tFctJR2tXCIz2Tt2N5Ox/s1600/IMG_0397.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS4Cs_bEBfqDuPExAMbFd52cmecM0krZPLijS2dxdD8AhfnJR0HoisSBEKEnH7KpnYpNbU1bEmchVZrWK_FFed10kskT6RM0szDQ3HOtexee6GL0rq1UKLj_D6tFctJR2tXCIz2Tt2N5Ox/s640/IMG_0397.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">She was perfect in every way.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbnsohx7Kw68cSqt6m0BLP1cQxpaKxHpyLApDxBJ9PAJr-Rgn5h9Kx8Lftmnsg1QIGg4cfuzvzqqbw-rYjOJP1eiPXGrEHhP4-iaXL1vtjHh3F4YCXVh5SGSfLoMh6NZGK4mwOYX2mWc6A/s1600/IMG_0394.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbnsohx7Kw68cSqt6m0BLP1cQxpaKxHpyLApDxBJ9PAJr-Rgn5h9Kx8Lftmnsg1QIGg4cfuzvzqqbw-rYjOJP1eiPXGrEHhP4-iaXL1vtjHh3F4YCXVh5SGSfLoMh6NZGK4mwOYX2mWc6A/s640/IMG_0394.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Not much has changed... except the attitude :)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikn5we4dBppEKfgH5yQ4ZY1B8qeI9SVY-aUG6BofPiFBFTBqry-dAdsGZmKGP6MixJLc-HP5J_i6GvQUUK6FUPD-ob5sUx9_AV9FNp23ornZ3S2j7CkHhg6DpMSZb_0NiS-5yTpVFvNwr2/s1600/IMG_4919.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikn5we4dBppEKfgH5yQ4ZY1B8qeI9SVY-aUG6BofPiFBFTBqry-dAdsGZmKGP6MixJLc-HP5J_i6GvQUUK6FUPD-ob5sUx9_AV9FNp23ornZ3S2j7CkHhg6DpMSZb_0NiS-5yTpVFvNwr2/s640/IMG_4919.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">When I look at pictures, she still has that bright smile...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinoG9SuivTzIrwcesAxmvpfyeCbh4PqMViELAVlhs78TRTLJe6T6WNuGUaTIcU7dfRPaVsh7C5VYGc8XyrakOd1t8Jg_fyMk33BjfEwXa3VE1xFLq5iQ7Ue8qr_YC5JrD9Fq4fnsc4m2QD/s1600/joey+cake.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinoG9SuivTzIrwcesAxmvpfyeCbh4PqMViELAVlhs78TRTLJe6T6WNuGUaTIcU7dfRPaVsh7C5VYGc8XyrakOd1t8Jg_fyMk33BjfEwXa3VE1xFLq5iQ7Ue8qr_YC5JrD9Fq4fnsc4m2QD/s640/joey+cake.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">First birthday.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The beautiful brown hair, dark black eyes, and alabaster skin. (Notice her sister peering into the picture. If it's possible, I think Savannah is the one that looks up to her sister. Her <em>younger</em> sister, at that.)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSYYCnRVkxz_nNihJYn6Wk_eRvd-JZKYzi34GXlxLMOM30dmSdzjW2-_WR7cDDO7Q5_dBYYUsN-2Y-3V7afvbC71hqpqDmrWHPT_sSTvI8l28kmiXA206cUdB-ZJyWUwmVUWuRiOU28fh9/s1600/IMG_7008.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSYYCnRVkxz_nNihJYn6Wk_eRvd-JZKYzi34GXlxLMOM30dmSdzjW2-_WR7cDDO7Q5_dBYYUsN-2Y-3V7afvbC71hqpqDmrWHPT_sSTvI8l28kmiXA206cUdB-ZJyWUwmVUWuRiOU28fh9/s640/IMG_7008.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Second birthday.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">She loves sweets... especially chocolate.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRJ35czUHUGFlM5xqBhs_Bueg48jp7QsO9kVce21Q1p1_NEjQIm0SjBi3Im0rqNh7UoIgKbDZEs9xbq0wq3z51dZb7MO_DdxkHWpYnhk2G52MzvEiilk24lec15FNEtoUu5utHM3mB9XkL/s1600/IMG_7040.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRJ35czUHUGFlM5xqBhs_Bueg48jp7QsO9kVce21Q1p1_NEjQIm0SjBi3Im0rqNh7UoIgKbDZEs9xbq0wq3z51dZb7MO_DdxkHWpYnhk2G52MzvEiilk24lec15FNEtoUu5utHM3mB9XkL/s640/IMG_7040.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Second birthday, cont.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">But what I can't get over is that attitude. Girlfriend has a face for every occasion, and she knows just how to play this momma with the crocodile tears and the line that goes, "Momma. You broke my heart and made it sooooo sad." </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">So we had party....</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl80xQWhob1ItXrF2BNQrr048auD6BIDNG6aGHxIiY3JmXqUzfXUCBiYX55RcJ2eCqxfaT5xmkp2fkqCZlAwwXNc6M8PBVjmKFfF2aN4ObEHi2_skdIQAqVx9bxl80jKn4NRfrqsb0F8CR/s1600/IMG_8982.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl80xQWhob1ItXrF2BNQrr048auD6BIDNG6aGHxIiY3JmXqUzfXUCBiYX55RcJ2eCqxfaT5xmkp2fkqCZlAwwXNc6M8PBVjmKFfF2aN4ObEHi2_skdIQAqVx9bxl80jKn4NRfrqsb0F8CR/s640/IMG_8982.JPG" width="640" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ7UQdnm1m19cKLbv73hPru89Kdd1D0f4Ff_3A2yGrTjsVZmhD8v3SYqu67GJscKqnRd4zFwNlXJFmpduWiWmqubxP8qlZdkyNWiRD75McA5FRgGiyfyiZtqasQvpqN4IJGgsEKH6gryXJ/s1600/IMG_8981.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ7UQdnm1m19cKLbv73hPru89Kdd1D0f4Ff_3A2yGrTjsVZmhD8v3SYqu67GJscKqnRd4zFwNlXJFmpduWiWmqubxP8qlZdkyNWiRD75McA5FRgGiyfyiZtqasQvpqN4IJGgsEKH6gryXJ/s640/IMG_8981.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">Sweet cheeks had her <em>Tangled</em> cake (a little improvising.... it was originally a Tinker Bell cake, minus the Tinker Bell paraphernalia, plus <em>Tangled</em> dolls my wonderful mother purchased)...</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkBXW9Dd-Np-mNFz0cNZ4OsJTo2UXzjtwKihwjdpJEjRzdkMGiGI11P_o8tDBvskroaZlBBImxr-q291UclJ4SDK9dv0aBw_3wbW0vxPqjWMj5ujuk5eqGMsFgSQNvIAPIIOuFNMHW9MTr/s1600/IMG_8990.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkBXW9Dd-Np-mNFz0cNZ4OsJTo2UXzjtwKihwjdpJEjRzdkMGiGI11P_o8tDBvskroaZlBBImxr-q291UclJ4SDK9dv0aBw_3wbW0vxPqjWMj5ujuk5eqGMsFgSQNvIAPIIOuFNMHW9MTr/s640/IMG_8990.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtQyxCccy0tFJIHPRoCwNOplnjlARvPE8CYpqbrjMyJUw2O7aAOtnBfljKuhdApWbT1nL6rjVKWyZhQ0e4rjeUCAj5NdUX3sFmvG9InzBsloNQvHENRRMJD0yD9aqIQOkujJv_EZtNaExW/s1600/IMG_8987.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtQyxCccy0tFJIHPRoCwNOplnjlARvPE8CYpqbrjMyJUw2O7aAOtnBfljKuhdApWbT1nL6rjVKWyZhQ0e4rjeUCAj5NdUX3sFmvG9InzBsloNQvHENRRMJD0yD9aqIQOkujJv_EZtNaExW/s640/IMG_8987.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrf5R8B9QLBim593xyBkHd59KqkviPziq2knI7myJ3Bl30nSmbzqh0dViJAl4oSNBSFFxJtXktRF1p3RiKLoE392LWwl6ZdSxRV0AZngK0G5FBo25cJG0jZZ_Pi_0PfmwFpFczP5A5QUu8/s1600/IMG_8988.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrf5R8B9QLBim593xyBkHd59KqkviPziq2knI7myJ3Bl30nSmbzqh0dViJAl4oSNBSFFxJtXktRF1p3RiKLoE392LWwl6ZdSxRV0AZngK0G5FBo25cJG0jZZ_Pi_0PfmwFpFczP5A5QUu8/s640/IMG_8988.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">And you'll notice... that along with the piece of cake... slowly came...</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2cmyr3NhkfWVNNLSHZJm2WpNm6snh-2Gv1RLf7gfi8FkJDziv_5mVSVc8sFvhju0jgEMLYHyCw7pmxF9zJdkwgIPU-Hfv3rPnEPskErhHLW4zyE09hiKE3O70pQw1SC9-omp-PxeDobp1/s1600/Joey%2527s+Birthday.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2cmyr3NhkfWVNNLSHZJm2WpNm6snh-2Gv1RLf7gfi8FkJDziv_5mVSVc8sFvhju0jgEMLYHyCw7pmxF9zJdkwgIPU-Hfv3rPnEPskErhHLW4zyE09hiKE3O70pQw1SC9-omp-PxeDobp1/s640/Joey%2527s+Birthday.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">the attitude.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Grandma mentioned the presents.... and it changed her tune.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMSQzSORIT4cZD0titkJeCvE-QMgij1CRKesFStJvTwyohHT7lt8laZOM4hE4jhbxq9vcoI_ZeHv1Xz29i6u0gSRYU3iSA5eN6jdXNgM3Q2okrZZ0sAxcpA0j9bRa4m7HKbSiRb2fGWxbE/s1600/Joey%2527s+Birthday1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMSQzSORIT4cZD0titkJeCvE-QMgij1CRKesFStJvTwyohHT7lt8laZOM4hE4jhbxq9vcoI_ZeHv1Xz29i6u0gSRYU3iSA5eN6jdXNgM3Q2okrZZ0sAxcpA0j9bRa4m7HKbSiRb2fGWxbE/s640/Joey%2527s+Birthday1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1qJZQ-FadrzKzLRYQPXicdhrxkfh6cY-c56DvsWzUdXPVNIt-EGS4cvJiJWt84jVJyjIcOsfaL4C3I4A6zXK_DJYBLirj3Y9uKSczijeAcTangTtqFGLlh2FtET33GYFr5wj510HsUxYq/s1600/IMG_8998.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1qJZQ-FadrzKzLRYQPXicdhrxkfh6cY-c56DvsWzUdXPVNIt-EGS4cvJiJWt84jVJyjIcOsfaL4C3I4A6zXK_DJYBLirj3Y9uKSczijeAcTangTtqFGLlh2FtET33GYFr5wj510HsUxYq/s640/IMG_8998.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">But, don't think for one moment that the attitude went far.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">And if you question me,</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3x2YodZM2mKBcZAKCYQj_mNyPKFhpCraqgpU3NGKxh9Sh4cWPXmSvWDvPPkiVc61dJaJtVf_Pk68sjXNeImYbzjTc1n80dQ4D3iPxutp-q4Oc6HU_mvsbU3GmdyUs_QOkpggya1pmpOvM/s1600/IMG_9001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3x2YodZM2mKBcZAKCYQj_mNyPKFhpCraqgpU3NGKxh9Sh4cWPXmSvWDvPPkiVc61dJaJtVf_Pk68sjXNeImYbzjTc1n80dQ4D3iPxutp-q4Oc6HU_mvsbU3GmdyUs_QOkpggya1pmpOvM/s640/IMG_9001.JPG" width="382" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Just look at her with her dad. I'm not sure words are needed.... the legs crossed... the arms up in the air....</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRAcmmag4UYQKjVurUNFdwby6v-bQSQlEDyKZCzJLkrU3peY0rgE-tNrzZaVqy6guBO4r-2AWcglzvvCaVdQ830GjjtoP1QR0jMfkfWLxliVTSS81k00y6DK-7u6vFpuZfSl2GHia2GiY9/s1600/IMG_9014.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRAcmmag4UYQKjVurUNFdwby6v-bQSQlEDyKZCzJLkrU3peY0rgE-tNrzZaVqy6guBO4r-2AWcglzvvCaVdQ830GjjtoP1QR0jMfkfWLxliVTSS81k00y6DK-7u6vFpuZfSl2GHia2GiY9/s640/IMG_9014.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Sweet cheeks <em>always</em></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh42imO_7mo3_8Ia4LhhyYr4G-XwqPFnLF-qBIQCSlmG4gp2LU1CHP3Nl-7h2VnwOPgsZI4DXZJ7HIqAjQt5aGZV6pcp7NNMplNScWndUoHyuhddlf-rr7-Kv5rkoVRW581ymmLt3_hoDWz/s1600/IMG_9015.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh42imO_7mo3_8Ia4LhhyYr4G-XwqPFnLF-qBIQCSlmG4gp2LU1CHP3Nl-7h2VnwOPgsZI4DXZJ7HIqAjQt5aGZV6pcp7NNMplNScWndUoHyuhddlf-rr7-Kv5rkoVRW581ymmLt3_hoDWz/s640/IMG_9015.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em>oozes sass!</em></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">But, that's what happens when she turns '3', right?</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div>mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-81407109910869468822011-05-08T13:48:00.000-07:002011-05-08T13:48:28.057-07:00Belated Post<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It arrived!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I tracked it...for days and days... from China to Chicago, to Memphis to South Bend.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIFHygbdntQaO4100WuFaYVJW8IDhvzNe6yGmdTdxul0oSO8yuJ4Xb6Jh3KoubS0JQQ7T4kVYg_mVTmF1QnkOtrOzh_aIJN9e5GEohlzAOtFEJ_xhu4vZpCFG3hIM1nLbB5IbfF8j77Lzs/s1600/IMG_8739.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="300" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIFHygbdntQaO4100WuFaYVJW8IDhvzNe6yGmdTdxul0oSO8yuJ4Xb6Jh3KoubS0JQQ7T4kVYg_mVTmF1QnkOtrOzh_aIJN9e5GEohlzAOtFEJ_xhu4vZpCFG3hIM1nLbB5IbfF8j77Lzs/s400/IMG_8739.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I greeted the Fed Ex man with a smile wider than the Nile.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I opened it...</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIvF9qlWizrU268s9VXryVEkbMJGecRgRirOvORhxIAlRYkOeX4h5PpGgz0ZnUDP_xki5LQVMxAd37cjYjQmshmKiGlOLhElYExWho7v4FbGlaeElcmLnChhKg9plm87oAs_QxUIYN-dcN/s1600/IMG_8741.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="300" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIvF9qlWizrU268s9VXryVEkbMJGecRgRirOvORhxIAlRYkOeX4h5PpGgz0ZnUDP_xki5LQVMxAd37cjYjQmshmKiGlOLhElYExWho7v4FbGlaeElcmLnChhKg9plm87oAs_QxUIYN-dcN/s400/IMG_8741.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></div><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">slowly....</span></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS3LPW2TcG40LoCzSIFyR24HvIIF2TYUzPdjIiLX2A3h1HzDLMANJ9yD62u9NGQxNGRJ8uhsIaImgpOxfa18t85PbpGnje4oioFJY21SQ-VCdiDldxjHYkDGHJmhyC8bIdiy4Z_ek4C1d2/s1600/IMG_8743.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="300" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS3LPW2TcG40LoCzSIFyR24HvIIF2TYUzPdjIiLX2A3h1HzDLMANJ9yD62u9NGQxNGRJ8uhsIaImgpOxfa18t85PbpGnje4oioFJY21SQ-VCdiDldxjHYkDGHJmhyC8bIdiy4Z_ek4C1d2/s400/IMG_8743.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">but I suppose I'll enjoy it more</span></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUQaNEfpcHlgtGiEZJz40OHp7GVfUNl66WIkxb4AF3VItisdbA0iF9qH8T5YTV9ZtDIDmcr37lAJrlWRk107DAGJLGjVqwzL2Ut2PKfdkuD1JoDAppJG3Ww0V69-HmmlLzzQH31XH1OKiG/s1600/IMG_8744.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="300" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUQaNEfpcHlgtGiEZJz40OHp7GVfUNl66WIkxb4AF3VItisdbA0iF9qH8T5YTV9ZtDIDmcr37lAJrlWRk107DAGJLGjVqwzL2Ut2PKfdkuD1JoDAppJG3Ww0V69-HmmlLzzQH31XH1OKiG/s400/IMG_8744.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXphJ6wKX_dInzWhOrQN3vHmi3sZfJLsMJfWlAP4lCukgw2z4cwMePFYXI3dBg3PZNTliUwFH11PrfPPBdJ_-8s99ZjydM4qu6TBj2VCe3Fm2wsn1nibOlFrPh8o2DvrP4av69HFOQcj3d/s1600/IMG_8747.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="300" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXphJ6wKX_dInzWhOrQN3vHmi3sZfJLsMJfWlAP4lCukgw2z4cwMePFYXI3dBg3PZNTliUwFH11PrfPPBdJ_-8s99ZjydM4qu6TBj2VCe3Fm2wsn1nibOlFrPh8o2DvrP4av69HFOQcj3d/s400/IMG_8747.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">at nap time.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">P.S. I got this wonderful gift over Spring Break. It has since found its wonderful place in our family. The girls (with supervision) have learned to enjoy and learn from it. Adam and I are both equally addicted to Angry Birds.</span></div>mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-22193895197763423462011-03-09T18:39:00.000-08:002011-03-09T18:39:04.756-08:00To buy....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">To buy.....</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzCQeWbt2em58ylb8cwSz3A4XoGmuEILteqdStGEF1X1QupSnSUotACGKuWRhFzdNucKlPoFaq-Opls-kUcQZykYJeeN-q7UVvZBTMLkUAL4P6UtROcjqPO_pE8VBgTfhlpM5GikEUHHf2/s1600/step1-ipad-prodselect-gallery-front.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="289" q6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzCQeWbt2em58ylb8cwSz3A4XoGmuEILteqdStGEF1X1QupSnSUotACGKuWRhFzdNucKlPoFaq-Opls-kUcQZykYJeeN-q7UVvZBTMLkUAL4P6UtROcjqPO_pE8VBgTfhlpM5GikEUHHf2/s320/step1-ipad-prodselect-gallery-front.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>or not to buy......<br />
<br />
That is the question. I have been saving my money for 7 long months... working extra hours, saving when I normally would have been spending.<br />
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And now, I just can't quite justify it.mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800121341162508204.post-69821890946456001032011-01-25T10:31:00.000-08:002011-01-25T10:35:02.415-08:00A Failure of Epic ProportionsSadly, this failure doesn't surprise me. I'm really good about letting "life" and "stuff" get in the way. I made a <a href="http://mindijoslone.blogspot.com/2010/12/60-days-of-beauty-project-day-1.html">committment </a>56 days ago to do The Beauty Project. Unfortunately, I made it to day 16 (and not with consistency) and have sinced stopped.<br />
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Notice, I didn't say quit. I stopped. <br />
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So, now it is time to pick it up. I don't expect anyone to actually read this list, but I owe it to myself to make good on a commitment. So.... here it goes, in no particular order.<br />
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Beauty #17: The return of a stolen Vocabulary answer key. Long story.<br />
Beauty #18: Signing off of facebook for awhile.<br />
Beauty #19: Trying to stay off of facebook... for awhile.<br />
Beauty #20: Reminding myself that facebook did not make my life more beautiful.<br />
Beauty #21: Teaching <em>To Kill a Mockingbird</em> for the 26th time..... because it is just that good.<br />
Beauty #22: Joey throwing away her own pacy. One day, she just decided she was done. No pushing, no prodding, no bribing. <br />
Beauty #23: Joey deciding at 2 1/2 she was potty trained.<br />
Beauty #24: Bittersweet beauty in the fact my baby isn't a baby anymore (see #22 and #23).<br />
Beauty #25: My group of junior girls that keep me young and on my knees.<br />
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whew! ok....<br />
Beauty #26: Sweatpants... all weekend long.<br />
Beauty #27: Snow. If it is going to be freezing, it might as well be beautiful.<br />
Beauty #28: Paper clips.<br />
Beauty #29: A husband that cooks. Goodness knows I'd be at my mom's every night or eat pb&j if he wasn't around. I just don't like all that you have to do for it to disappear so quickly :)<br />
Beauty #30: Mario Kart. Seriously, I spend too much time wrapped up into this game. I'm fairly positive there is a little man inside my wii counsel that is purposely making me lose at the last minute so that I can't defeat the last "stage" of the game, keeping me coming back for more! I will rule you, Mario Kart!<br />
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Enough, for now... I gotta breathe :)mindi johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10209787662461267865noreply@blogger.com3